We docked in Southhampton to end our first cruise a few days back. The adventures that ensued were some that I felt led to record.
Once our guests left the ship, we had a crew drill supervised by the U.K. Coast guard. A crew drill is when we simulate that there is an emergency and follow protocol as if we were boarding the life boats, gathering guests etc. Basically an emergency practice run. We do A LOT of them, so you're in good hands if you end up in my life boat. Or so I thought...until this beastly drill.
Let us not forget that we are in Southhampton where it is probably 45 degrees. We knew the drill was to commence at 10:15 per usual - except theeeeey decided to start earlier w the coast guard. I was half in pajamas, half in real clothes when people started BANGING on our doors. "FIRE! EVACUATE! FIRE!" Where was I when the banging commenced? The restroom. The 'fire team' entered the room and started banging on the bathroom door: "EVACUATE! FIRE!" Ummmm okay...I'm evacuating, sir...but I'm pretty sure you don't want me walking out in my Victoria's Secret pajama bottoms.
When most drills commence, there is a series of several announcements before we are called to our station. However, since the "fire" was in our hallway (ummmm thanks guys, what are you trying to say?) it was a free for all. I continued searching for pants in the dark, while men continually yelled for me to evacuate & get out. When I tell you that I have NO idea what I was wearing, it was the truth. Luckily, since it's a cold port, we are allowed to wear layers over uniforms, so I fit right in. I grabbed my life jacket, dodged 5 fire hoses and made my way to the life boats. Phew. Finally. I made it. A moment to breathe...
That moment turned into A LOT of moments as the coast guard went from level to level, checking everyone's positions. About an hour & a half in, he made his way onto our deck. Most drills typically take 30 minutes, so we were all pretty cold and confused at this point. Coast guard man saunters over to our life boat area & everyone basically freezes. There are about 30 of us from all different departments in this boat...all frozen in fear. "Who is in charge of this life boat?" *silence* "Anyone?" Then we all chime in with the correct answer. Alright, awesome. Next question: "What is your duty at this station?" *cricket...cricket...silence* OKAY, SERIOUSLY GUYS?!?! I take one for the team and explain our duties. He accepts my answer. WOOHOO! Except then, I become the "go to" person for every question. When nobody would answer, he looked to me. What question does he look to me for? "How long can a passenger stand here without using the restroom?" Ummmm...is that SERIOUSLY your question coast guard man? How long can someone hold it? You don't want to know how many flares are in our life boats or how many liters of water we have for each person in an emergency? WHAT?!?!!? All of the numbers I memorized for the amount of passengers on each life boat & you want to know about potty time? THE SHIP IS ON FIRE, SIR - I THINK THEY CAN HOLD IT FOR A MINUTE! I'm not letting everyone run around to get stuck in a toilet somewhere. They are sticking with me. Goodness... The drill ended. I have yet to find out the answer to the alleged question.
Coast Guard man...Captain America...whoever you are...I know where you live. I'll be back...
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